Drinks with Madam President

Some friends are meant to help you with phases of your life. When that phase comes to an end, you both move on. Sometimes it hurts, but we grow and change as we age, and sometimes life takes us in different directions. Not all friends are forever.

But there are also those friends that, no matter how little you keep in touch, you know in your heart they’d be there in a minute if you needed them. You neglect them. You don’t call or email. You lose track of birthdays, anniversaries, and important dates. But they never leave your mind, and you know in your heart that you never leave theirs.

I was in junior high when I met P. The girl was born with politics in her blood. I think she was the one who first told me what it meant to be a Republican or a Democrat, because at 14, I honestly had no idea. Anyone who follows my comments on PNN can tell there are certain issues I am passionate as hell about. In part, P is to blame (or thank) for that. She raised my awareness on social issues long before I could vote and the fiery passion has only gotten larger as I’ve grown older and even more aware.

P has always been extremely busy. She had a cell phone before I even knew how they worked. With her AP classes, extracurricular activities (both on campus and off), sports, and job, I often wondered if she slept. Needless to say, we didn’t exactly spend a ton of time together in junior high and high school. She was a whirlwind of energy while I was always tired (a side effect of my wonderful Depression). Throughout junior high, we chronicled our lives through a series of notes in a spiral notebook (“The Book”) accompanied by plenty of illustrated stick figures. Our lives were different, but the stick figures showed that we both wanted the same things, even then: Love. Beauty. Acceptance. Success. Chocolate. Hey, we weren’t that deep.

Yet, we were close. No matter how busy she was, P was there for me when I needed her. She provided a sanctuary when life at my parents’ house became too much to bear and I needed an escape. Even though her own home life was far from perfect, she never failed to listen to problems about mine. She didn’t have time to be selfless, but she was. I don’t know if I can ever truly express how much that meant to me. There were times when I honestly felt like I had no one, but P never let me forget that I had her.

Of course, the minute we graduated high school, P headed East. She hit the campaign trail almost immediately while earning some impressive degrees from some equally impressive colleges. We always joked that she would be the first female President (hence the nickname P), but honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if it happened. In fact, it would make me happy, because this is a woman who actually cares about our country and wants to solve our problems, unlike most politicians. Looking at her resume, some people (even successful people) would feel fiercely inadequate. But P never makes others feel that way. She’s just as happy for her friends’ victories as her true friends are for hers. She’s a true success story, going after what she’s always wanted, and I feel lucky to know yet another wonderful person who actually does what they say they will… and all with a sharp wit I have yet to meet anyone who can match.

I hadn’t seen P in practically a decade… seven years? Six? Nine? Neither of us could quite remember. So when she emailed me to tell me she was coming to my area, I was overjoyed. I immediately called Yennifer, who agreed to meet us for an early, impromptu high school reunion.

Thanks to Facebook, I had seen recent pictures of P, but I wasn’t prepared for the drop dead gorgeous woman who met me in the lobby of the hotel. She looked thin, stylish, happy, and beautiful.

“Look at you!” she shouted.

“Look at YOU!” I replied.

“Look at US!” we both shrieked as everyone in the hotel looked at us like we were crazy.

Off we went to meet Yennifer at a classy lounge downtown. We drank flavored martinis like grown-ups, but in a way, it was exactly the same. We had much more worldly things to talk about than we did at 15, but that didn’t stop us from gossiping about our former classmates. The difference was, unlike when we were teenagers, the gossip was mostly positive. There are some hurts that never fade and some people always remain unkind, but for the most part, we celebrated the lives and successes of our fellow classmates, even toasting the ones who have passed away.

We also chronicled the last decade of our lives... with stick figures. My life was summed up in four pages. She only got to August of 2000. That's how hardcore she lives.

It was as if the three of us had these girls’ nights regularly. There were no awkward pauses, no lengthy gaps. I don’t even know how I found time to eat my appetizers, we talked so much. It was the kind of grown up, sophisticated evening we all envisioned ourselves having at 15, except even better because it was actually happening.

Seeing P reminded me of the person I used to be, which was a person I didn’t care for then and wouldn’t like now. It made me realize how far I’ve come in my battle of self-acceptance and happiness. It made me grateful for the place I’m in right now and grateful that most of my good friends seem to be in the same place. I truly believe that unhappiness with oneself is a big contributing factor to the problems we have in society and I’m glad those I love seem to have realized that.

“Isn’t it great, to be in the place we are right now?” P asked as I drove her back to the hotel. I agreed that it was.

“And isn’t it great to finally realize that we aren’t to blame for other people’s issues?” she asked.

“Yes” I said emphatically, her words resonating with me. We both grew up worrying that certain problems might be our fault, and it felt pretty great to realize that they weren’t.

I hugged P goodbye and headed back home, jumping on a half-asleep Mr. W and giving him happy kisses.

“Good night?” he asked.

“The best,” I said as the vodka finally kicked in and put me into a coma.

I doubt it will be another six, seven or nine years before I see P again. I’ll certainly do everything I can to make sure that isn’t the case. But no matter how much time passes, she will always be dear to my heart and know that I am just a phone call or email away. Some bonds can never be broken, and now I’m even more sure that this is one of them.